The Hidden Cost of Being the “Go-To”
Have you ever noticed how being the “go-to” person feels like both a compliment and a curse?
People come to you with questions, problems, and crises because they trust you. You’re the one who gets it done. The one who knows the details, the processes, the pitfalls. You’re the fixer, the helper, the steady hands everyone relies on.
But here’s the part no one talks about:
Being the go-to doesn’t make you the leader.
In fact, in many workplaces – especially in male-dominated fields like aviation and aerospace – the more you become the “go-to,” the more you cement yourself in a role of support rather than strategy.
Here’s what that looks like:
You’re the first name mentioned when something urgent needs to be fixed – but never when a new initiative needs a leader.
You’re included in every meeting to keep things moving – but never in the meetings where real decisions are made.
You’re praised for your reliability – but rarely asked for your vision.
You’re respected – but not promoted.
Why does this happen?
Because being the go-to keeps you:
Focused on execution, not strategy
Deep in the weeds, rather than seen as a big-picture thinker
Always doing for others, instead of leading others
And here’s what stings the most:
Your reliability becomes the reason they keep you where you are.
What’s really going on here?
For many women, being the go-to feels safe. It’s where you get validation, appreciation, and the sense of being needed.
But over time, it can become a trap. Because while you’re busy holding everything together, you’re not seen as someone who can take things further.
Being the go-to builds trust in your competence.
Being a leader builds belief in your vision.
And those are two very different career outcomes.
Reflection for this week:
How much of your time is spent solving other people’s problems versus advancing your own ideas and leadership?
If you’re always the go-to, what are you not getting to do?
Here’s a bold move to consider:
Start shifting how you show up:
Delegate tasks that keep you small.
Say no to requests that distract from your bigger goals.
Voice the insights that demonstrate your strategic thinking.
You don’t have to stop being the go-to entirely. But you do need to show that your greatest value isn’t just fixing problems – it’s preventing them, foreseeing them, and creating something better in the first place.
Ready to break out of the go-to trap?
I created a free guide to help you:
Breaking the Cycle: 7 Signs It’s Time to Level Up – And Lead
If you’re tired of feeling stuck in the support role – even though everyone relies on you – this guide will help you recognize what’s keeping you there and what to do about it.
Want to explore what it would look like for you to step fully into leadership?
Beyond the Flight Deck is your weekly reflection to rise above the day-to-day grind and see your career from a new altitude.
Because being the go-to may keep planes in the air – but being the leader decides where they’re going.