Owning the Room Without Apologizing for It
There’s a moment many women in aviation and aerospace know too well:
You walk into a room — a boardroom, a briefing, a hangar, a meeting — and you’re the only one who looks like you.
And whether or not anyone says it out loud, the energy shifts.
You feel the eyes.
You feel the doubt.
You feel the pressure to prove you belong — without making anyone uncomfortable in the process.
So you shrink just a little.
Soften your tone.
Downplay your title.
Lead with disclaimers.
Make sure your brilliance doesn’t threaten anyone else’s ego.
That’s not leadership. That’s performance.
What It Looks Like to Own the Room
Owning the room doesn’t mean dominating the space.
It means owning yourself — without apology.
Your voice
Your presence
Your point of view
Your preparation
Your power
Not for validation.
Not for approval.
But because you know what you bring.
Why Women Apologize for Their Power
Many of us have internalized the message:
“Be confident — but not too confident.”
“Speak up — but not too loudly.”
“Lead — but not in a way that makes anyone feel threatened.”
So we dilute ourselves:
Add qualifiers to bold ideas
Laugh when we’re interrupted
Over-credit the team for work we led
Apologize for having high standards
Start sentences with, “This might be a dumb idea, but…”
We think this makes us relatable, easier to work with, safer.
But in reality?
It makes us invisible.
You Don’t Have to Earn the Right to Be There
You’ve already earned it.
Through:
Flight hours
Engineering reviews
Certifications
Test programs
Launch support
Long nights and early mornings
Navigating systems that were never built with you in mind
Your presence isn’t an accident.
It’s the outcome of grit, intellect, and capability.
You don’t need to prove that you deserve to be in the room.
You just need to own that you already are.
How to Start Owning It — Today
Speak your expertise like the expert you are
Drop the apologies and disclaimers
Take the lead in conversations instead of waiting to be invited
Trust that your value doesn’t need to be softened or translated
Let others adjust to you
Beyond the Flight Deck
You’re not there to take up less space.
You’re there to take your rightful place.
You don’t have to apologize for being excellent.
You don’t have to over-explain why you’re leading.
You are not a guest in the room.
You are the room.
Ready to Break the Cycle?
Start here:
Download the free guide: “Breaking the Cycle: 7 Hidden Signs It’s Time to Level Up — and Lead”
If you’ve been stuck in proving mode, this guide is your wake-up call. Learn how to spot the invisible patterns holding you back — and what to do about them.
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